Catholic Psychology Self Help Guide: Crosses or difficulties that come from others
disclaimer: not written by clergyman, read with your own discretion
In daily life, we encounter different kinds of These challenges, though painful, can help us grow in faith, humility, patience, and love.
Sometimes the heaviest crosses come not from disasters or tragedies—but from people. Their rudeness, rejection, betrayal, harsh words, or cold indifference.
And you may wonder:
Why do I feel so broken by what others do?
Why do their words live in my head long after they're gone?
Why can’t I just be “tougher” like other people seem to be?
Here’s the truth, with compassion:
You’re not weak—you’re awake
If your soul is tender, it’s not a flaw. It’s a gift—and a heavy one. A sensitive conscience, a sorrow for the way people treat each other, a sadness over sin in the world—that’s not emotional fragility. That’s the heart of Christ in you.
You’re feeling what the saints felt:
St. Thérèse, crying over harsh looks
St. Francis weeping over hardened hearts
St. Teresa of Avila crushed by misunderstanding
St. John Vianney attacked by slander and humiliation
They weren’t emotionally weak. They were spiritually sensitive. Their hearts were tuned to heaven—and so the noise of this world hurt.
A Conscience That Feels—Like Christ’s
When your soul is close to God, sin and cruelty don’t just feel wrong—they feel like a wound. Not only for yourself, but for the soul of the person acting in darkness.
“My eyes have sent forth springs of water: because they have not kept thy law.”
—Psalm 118:136 (DR)
This sorrow isn’t strange—it’s Christ’s sorrow. He wept over Jerusalem. He stood silent before His accusers. He bore betrayal and mockery from those He came to save.
A Prayer for When Others Are the Cross
Jesus, their words sting. Their actions confuse me.
I feel the ache of a world that forgets love.
Not only for myself—but for the souls who do not see You.
My heart is heavy, but don’t let it become bitter.
Let this sorrow not destroy me, but make me more like You.
Help me carry this with You—not alone.
And help me forgive, as You forgave, with tears in Your eyes.
Amen.
Your Sensitivity is a Path to Sainthood
The world doesn’t need more indifference.
It needs people who still feel deeply. Who weep with Christ. Who hurt for sin, and yet keep loving.
You may feel more vulnerable, but that vulnerability—when united to the Cross—can sanctify your soul and others'.
Even saints had hearts that broke again and again. So if yours does too, you are in holy company.
Meditation
Here are 11 human pains, matched with examples from Christ’s Passion or the lives of the saints—to help you carry your cross with grace:
1. Rejection or Exclusion
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus experienced rejection and abandonment by His closest disciples. Peter denied Him three times, and all the apostles fled when He was arrested (Mark 14:50-72).
Meditation: Jesus, who was perfect and sinless, was rejected by those He came to save. In times when we feel excluded or rejected by others, we can remember that Jesus understands that pain deeply. His love for us remained steadfast despite the rejection He endured.
2. Criticism or Judgement
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus was falsely accused and judged by the Sanhedrin, who condemned Him without proper evidence (Matthew 26:59-66). They mocked and criticized Him during His trial.
Meditation: Jesus remained silent before His accusers (Matthew 27:12-14). In moments when we face harsh criticism or judgment from others, we can look to Jesus’ example of patient endurance and trust in God’s truth to guide us.
3. Persecution or Hostility
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus faced brutal hostility during His Passion, including mockery, beatings, and the crown of thorns (Matthew 27:27-31).
Meditation: In facing persecution or hostility from others, we can meditate on how Christ took on suffering for the sake of love and salvation. His suffering was a testimony to His obedience to the Father’s will and His immense love for humanity. We can offer up our own suffering in union with His.
4. Being Misunderstood
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Throughout His ministry, Jesus was misunderstood by many, even His own family (Mark 3:21). During His Passion, people mocked Him, asking Him to save Himself if He was truly the Son of God (Matthew 27:40).
Meditation: Jesus was misunderstood by those around Him, yet He continued to do the will of His Father. In moments of misunderstanding, we can trust that God knows our hearts and understands our intentions, just as He understood Christ’s.
5. Betrayal
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus with a kiss, handing Him over to the authorities (Matthew 26:47-50).
Meditation: Jesus responded to His betrayal with deep sorrow but did not retaliate. When we face betrayal, we can meditate on Christ’s forgiveness, remembering that He was able to forgive those who betrayed Him for the sake of our salvation. This can inspire us to also forgive and pray for those who hurt us.
6. Injustice or Unfair Treatment
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus was sentenced to death by crucifixion, despite being innocent (Matthew 27:22-23).
Meditation: Jesus endured the ultimate injustice without retaliating. In moments of feeling mistreated or wronged, we can reflect on how Christ endured injustice for the greater good of humanity. He trusted in the Father’s plan even in the midst of great unfairness.
7. Suffering Alone or in Silence
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus was alone in His suffering, as His disciples fled, and He was left to endure the pain and mockery on the cross (Matthew 26:56, Mark 15:34).
Meditation: Christ’s cry on the cross, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46), shows the depth of His loneliness and the human experience of feeling abandoned. In our own moments of loneliness, we can remember that Jesus walked through that very pain, and He is with us in our suffering.
8. Lack of Appreciation or Gratitude
St. Frances Xavier Cabrini served tirelessly among immigrants and the poor in the United States. She faced countless obstacles, indifference, and criticism—even from those she came to help. Still, she pressed forward, saying, "I will go anywhere and do anything to communicate the love of Jesus to those who do not know Him or have forgotten Him."
Meditation: Like Christ, she gave without expecting return. When unappreciated, we can serve quietly and faithfully in imitation of both Jesus and His saints.
9. Being Forced to Carry a Heavy Burden
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus was forced to carry His cross through the streets of Jerusalem, weighed down by the physical pain of His scourging and the heavy wood of the cross (Luke 23:26).
Meditation: Simon of Cyrene helped Jesus carry His cross (Mark 15:21). When we are burdened with heavy crosses, we can meditate on how Jesus accepted His suffering and how others, like Simon, may come alongside us to help carry the load. Just as Christ’s suffering had a redemptive purpose, so too can our struggles be offered up to God.
10. Being Overlooked or Ignored
Example from Saint John Vianney:
Saint John Vianney, the patron saint of priests, often faced ridicule and skepticism. People ignored his work, dismissing him as unimportant, but he remained steadfast in his vocation to serve God and His people.
Meditation: Like Saint John Vianney, we are sometimes overlooked or underestimated by others. Yet, in those moments, we are reminded that our worth and purpose come not from human recognition but from God. Jesus Himself was often disregarded by society, but He remained faithful to His Father’s call.
11. Physical or Emotional Suffering
Example from Christ’s Passion:
Jesus experienced intense physical suffering, from the scourging to the nails in His hands and feet. He also endured deep emotional suffering, especially during His Agony in the Garden (Matthew 26:36-46), where He sweat blood in His distress.
Meditation: In moments of physical or emotional pain, we can meditate on Christ’s suffering, knowing that He understands our pain completely. His willingness to endure unimaginable suffering for us gives us the strength to face our own crosses.
The Catholic Path Through Pain
As Catholics, we know that every sorrow, when united to Christ, is not wasted. Your pain can be redemptive—for you, for others, and for the world.
“And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me.”
—Matthew 10:38 (DR)
When others are your cross, carry them as Jesus carried His—with sorrow, love, and surrender.
And remember: He is carrying you too.